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Faith

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from _newfoundfaith_ [Wednesday, August 17th, 2005 @ 8:36pm]
By the time that the bus pulled into the station in Sunnydale, California it was dark. Not real late, but still, past sunset. Time for vamps to come crawling out to find their victims. But if this Buffy chick was all she was cracked up to be, they wouldn't find anything more than a quick death. Especially now that I was here too.

I got off the bus, grabbed my one bag and headed out. She'd probably be out patrolling the cemetaries or something. She's supposedly great at this Slayer gig. Probably has zero social life because she has to spend all her time throwing down with the blood-suckers.

I'd heard some funky stuff about this town. Hellmouth or something. Just a lot of badness here. Best place to find badness? Cemetary. I headed into the first one I came across. I wasn't really in a hurry to find this other Slayer. I could do that whenever. Might as well take advantage of the night and kick some vamp ass.

Just before I saw her, I sensed it. I was closing in on a vamp. There. Just ahead of me. Some ratting looking chick in a red dress. Damnit, she already had a victim. She was standing over some poor pathetic loser who happened to be wandering the cemetary at night. Idiot. I didn't think he was dead yet though.

I ran up behind her. She was so focused on the kill, she didn't even see me until it was too late and I had already plunged the stake into her heart.

As the dust cleared, I looked down at the guy on the ground. Looked about my age. Think he'd be old enough to know better by now. Especially living in a place like this. I held out my hand to him.

"Don't you know any better than to walk in a graveyard at night?"
Have Faith

from sunny_d_reunion [Tuesday, May 10th, 2005 @ 11:33pm]
I stepped out of the airport and looked around the streets of Sunnydale. Never thought I'd ever end up back here. But then, I thought that once before, back when I turned myself in to the cops. And check how that turned out.

I was really nervous coming back here. I hadn't kept in touch with anyone after I headed to LA to find Angel. I think he'd talked to a few people now and then, but not me. It was going to be like some damn twenty year high school reunion. And that's how I was acting too. A little scared that everyone will have done something with their lives, become someone. Changed for the better. But I didn't do that.

Okay, I'm not saying I'm unhappy with my life. That's not it at all. Just other people might say I haven't changed. But that's not true. At least I didn't end up dead or alone or a loser.

I'm still alive at 42 which is a hell of a lot longer than most Slayers used to live. But then, that's changed since there's a shitload of us now. And I'm not alone. I don't have a husband or kids or anything, but I'm not alone. I have Angel and Bender. I mean, I have Angel. He's the closest thing I'll ever have to family, I'm sure. And hey, I'm helping people, so.. not a loser either.

I felt bad for leaving Angel behind, but I knew that he needed the alone time to brood about the past couple of weeks. Plus he could help people there while I helped out here. Now I just knew that nothing at all could happen to Willow. If anything did, he'd blame himself for not fighting me about coming. He didn't need any more guilt.

I walked up to a hotel. I had no idea where anyone else was staying. I didn't even know if anyone knew I was coming. I figured I should try to find Giles. I didn't know who all would be here, but I knew of him for sure. Not that he really should be. He's old. Not cut out for the Scooby life anymore. But he's persistent. And it is Willow afterall.

I walked up to the desk and, putting on my best British accent impression, asked if a Rupert Giles had checked in, claiming he was my father. I'd already been to about three other places with no luck. But this time, he was here. The woman told me the room number and off I went.

I got to the room and knocked hesitantly on the door.
Have Faith

will be for your_welcome [Wednesday, May 4th, 2005 @ 10:16pm]
What a day. I so totally needed a drink. It had been a long ass day, ending with a big fight. And yeah, that’s what I came to L.A. for, but I was rusty. I loved the release. It was just what I needed. But now, all I wanted was a good drink. Wash away everything.

I’d left Gunn in kind of a hurry. Just needed some space, you know? He seemed a little confused when I split, but he’ll get over it.

I found myself outside a really dark, dirty bar as I wandered the streets in L.A. at night. I guess this was as good of a place as any to get drunk.

Walking in, I realized that it was a biker bar. And I’m not talking hot biker boys either. I’m talking like big, fat, tattooed biker gang type of guys. Kinda scary if you weren’t me. I was used to this.

I walked over to the bar and I was thinking about the day. I remembered that woman that the Slayer had saved. What was her name? Anne? I heard she ran a shelter or something. And that the shelter was low on money, and always was. Too bad. Seemed like a good enough cause. No way in hell I’d ever do something like that, but it’s a good cause.

That’s when I overheard a couple of the bikers talking about a drinking contest. Sounded like fun. I stood up from the bar before ordering a drink and walked over to them. Looked like there were just two who were gunna go at it. They each seemed to have a gang of their own. Rival biker gangs? Damn. Would it never end?

“Hey guys,” I said as I strutted over to them. “I wanna weigh in here.”

One of them turned to me. “Who are you placing your bets on?”

“Me.”

The bar erupted in laughter. They all seemed to study me. I didn’t look like I posed much of a threat to their manlihood. I was just a girl right? A little girl who wanted to play the man’s game. But I knew. I knew I could drink them all under the table easy. Slayer constitution plus loads of practice. This should be fun.

“Sure thing baby. You can join in.”

I smiled and pulled out the money that I had. It wasn’t much, but after all of the betting was done I realized that I was going to make a shit load if, I mean when, I won. Close to five thousand dollars. Everyone wanted a piece of this now that there was a chick in the mix. Guess they figured I was a safe person to bet against. God I loved it when people were stupid.

Then it started. I was downing drinks like mad. Damn what a rush. One bottle after another. They were cheap and used beer, but whatever man. I was totally kicking their asses, making a shit load of money, and getting drunk all at once.

I was on my twelfth beer when the first guy nearly fell to the ground. I stopped for a second to see what he was going to do. Would he get back up? Shit. Nope. Get back up? Not after puking his guts out like that! He was out.

I was feeling the effects, but nowhere near puking or passing out, so it was all good. My vision was getting a little hazy and it was harder to get the bottle to my mouth, but I did it. And when the other guy suddenly passed out, everyone in the bar looked at me in shock.

I wavered a bit, but damn I was good. I looked down at all the money. I decided to take half for myself and give half to that shelter. That is, if I remember that in the morning.

I put my hand down on the bar to steady myself. I had to get out of here now. I was feeling a little restless still from after the fight and now with the alcohol in me? Oh God I didn’t want to end up doing something with one of these nasty biker guys.

I pulled out my cell phone. I didn’t know L.A. very well, especially not when I was totally hammered. I stared down at the phone and realized just how blurred my vision had become. The phone… it looked like there were three. I focused my attention and hit the voice-dial button.

Putting the phone to my mouth I managed to slur out the name, “Gunn.”

It was ringing. I wandered out of the bar and slid down on to the ground. The ground was comforting. I knew I couldn’t fall over very far now.

Come on Gunn, pick up!

Open to Gunn to come pick up a totally drunk-faced Faith
Have Faith

from sunny_d_reunion [Wednesday, May 4th, 2005 @ 1:03am]
I was on the plane when the memory of that terrible day, after the terrible weeks, came rushing back. It had all been a blur until now. Now that I was finally on my way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a pretty rough couple of weeks so I was out blowing off some steam fighting some vamps in a dark alley. Not nearly enough cemetaries in this city. Gotta find the vamps out roaming the streets. But that night, I found 'em alright. And if you'd seen me that night.. or any other in the past couple of weeks.. you'd think I had a personal grudge against the specific vamp I was fighting. Nah, just pissed at the whole lot of the undead. It's not like I never lost anyone before, damn I seemed to lose everyone, but this was different somehow.

I'd been helping Angel with the whole "helping the helpless" gig for a long time. I couldn't believe I was able to stay in one place for so long. Guess I really was growing up. But anyway, we'd worked with this other guy, Bender. He was pretty okay with the research and the fighting. Even knew a bit about magic. And can I say.. he wasn't too bad looking either? Not that we were ever..

But anyway, there was a big fight. Didn't seem any different from any other that we'd been in. The same old demons and slaughter and whatever. But something happened. Bender was killed. Right there in front of us. I think it's all my fault, but I know Angel is blaming himself. He's doing the whole "locked in a room, don't disturb me I'm pissed" thing.

So it's been tough. I mean, I've dealt with loss and stuff before, but somehow this was different. We'd worked together for so long.. He was actually a friend. So I was going to town on every single undead ass I could find to pummel. Reckless? Yeah, probably. But I didn't care. I'd been keeping myself busy.. trying to save everyone even though I know I can't. Just had to stay busy.

But I was worn out, ragged. I dragged myself back into the office after only being gone about two hours. Usually I was out most of the night if there wasn't a case to work on. But as soon as I walked in, I knew there was a case. Angel was on the phone. He hung up and looked at me. That was not a good look for him to be wearing.

"What is it?"

"It's Willow," he said gravely.

Now that was a name I hadn't heard in a long time. I hadn't seen much of the old Scooby Gang since we left Sunnydale. But Angel filled me in on what Giles had told him. Willow was in trouble. She was a friend.. or at least an ally. I had to go. But Angel had to stay here.

"You're not going without me," he said as he watched me pack a bag.

"Yes I am. I know you feel guilty for Bender's death, but you know what? So do I. But we can't save everyone. But we can save more people if you stay here. Let me and the old gang help Willow, while you help people here. This is where you can do the most good."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He wasn't happy, but he stayed behind. And now I feel that maybe he should have come along. Maybe this thing was bigger than I think. So now I'm stuck on a plane from Chicago to Sunnydale, and all I can think about is the fact that I probably did exactly the wrong thing.
Have Faith

from _evil_within [Wednesday, April 27th, 2005 @ 3:27pm]
I was running full out, as fast as I could toward Joyce's house. The night air was cold. Well, colder than it should be in southern California. The wind whipped through my hair and was blowing so hard that it made it hard to breathe. I kept going though. I had to. I couldn't hesitate. Not again. I didn't even look back. I just had to get to everyone.

Who was I kidding though? I couldn't protect anyone. I was lucky. I had been in Angelus's grasp. He could have snapped my neck before I could flinch. But he didn't. They don't want to kill me. They want me to suffer.

And damnit, it was working.

I can't protect the Scoobies from them. B was right. I would never be good enough. I didn't have the training or the experience that she had. I'd never faced a vamp like Angelus before. I was inexperienced and weak. I had hesitated. That hesitation could have cost me my life. And I knew that. I knew it when I did it. Deep down, I knew that I couldn't protect them all. I would fail them like I'd failed everyone before. So in that second where I hesitated, I was welcoming death. It would be better than suffering through more of my failures.

I had finally made it back to the house. I came to a stop in the driveway and doubled over in pain. I fell to my knees. The pain from running full out for so long while hardly breathing. My lungs burned. My legs ached. I was in no shape for a battle. But it was night. Play time for vamps. I had to protect them tonight. We could lock ourselves in the house all night, but then they would just go kill others. I couldn't have that. But I knew I was no match for them.

Not both of them.

Probably not even one of them.

Get a grip Faith. You'll never be able to take them on in this condition. Self-loathing never got you anywhere.

I lifted my head and stood up, ignoring the pain, and walked up to the door and into the house.
Have Faith

from live_in_hell [Monday, April 18th, 2005 @ 10:54pm]
I followed Willow slowly passing by all of the oh-so-familiar sights of Sunnydale. It felt so wrong that I was back. How did I end here again so soon? I was a little nervous about how the others would react to seeing me again. Dawn.. Xander.. It was going to be majorly weird.

I tried making some small talk with Willow as we walked back. Mostly about her and the magic and stuff. Didn't want to dive deep into how everyone was doing. That... I wasn't sure I was ready to deal with that. And yet.. I was going to their house. Would they think I was trying to replace B? God I hoped not. That so wasn't what this was about. This was about doing what was right for once.

We were approaching the house. Not meaning to, I hesitated. Maybe I shouldn't do this yet tonight. Maybe I should just go back and see Wes and avoid them... But Willow continued on toward the house and I followed, finally.
Have Faith

from _in_dreams_ [Tuesday, April 5th, 2005 @ 9:55am]
Season: Season 3 Buffy
Pairing: Faith/Xander...ish
Community: based off events in corruptingride a Faith/Xander one-on-one. Faith has just killed the deputy mayor and skipped town with Xander. I may eventually end up posting this dream in there or maybe not.
Rating: erm.. R for language, slight sex that I know I suck at writing and some weird creepiness that I will probably also suck at writing.




I walked into the bedroom of our gorgeous Chicago apartment so high up in the air. I looked out at the lake. The lake looked almost black. But then, it was night, so that was to be expected. The room itself was dark, but I could still clearly make out Xander lying on the bed, naked. I rolled my eyes. It was as if he expected something.. again.

I walked toward the window to look out, but was suddenly grabbed around the waist by Xander's stronger than usual arms. He was making the first move. This was different. I liked it. Shows he's not as spineless as always.

I let him pull me over to the bed, his lips quickly on mine, devouring me, dominating me.

I pulled away in order to strip off my clothes, but looking down, I didn't need to. They were gone. What the fuck? I shook my head. Whatever.

I grabbed Xander and threw him back on the bed, straddling him. My mouth on his, attacking him mercilessly. Then I felt him thrust into for the first time and I cried out a little. Moaning as he fucked me, I man my hands over his arms, my nails digging in to draw blood.

Then the sudden rhythmic pulsing within me stopped. Just stopped. He didn't pull out, it just stopped. I had been so close to coming, and he stopped. What the hell? I looked down at Xander in anger, but when I looked down, it wasn't him beneath me. It was the man I had killed.

I gasped for breath, my breaths suddenly very shallow. There he was, dead, and underneath me. I tried to get off him, but something was keeping me there. I struggled, but I was stuck there, naked, and looking as if I was fucking a dead man.

I looked out the window, anything to stop looking at him. The lake had turned a bright blood red. Lights flashed around me in the room and I looked behind, seeing Xander standing behind me, fully dressed, eying me, laughing.

"Get off the dead guy Faith, we need to go get some money."

As much as I struggled, I couldn't get off. There he was, beneath me, and I couldn't do a damn thing. Looking back at Xander, he was gone, and the floor of the room was covered in water. The water seemed to be rising and turning red with blood as it did.

I screamed for Xander to come and help, but got nothing. The liquid rose faster and faster until I could no longer see the deputy mayor beneath me. It continued to rise and I choked and sputtered on the red water that had now completely turned to blood. The blood engulfed me, running through me and over me, completely consuming me.
Have Faith

from live_in_hell [Monday, April 4th, 2005 @ 12:32am]
There was so much to take in. It was so hard to imagine. Wes, Wes of all people, had busted me out of jail earlier today. And on the drive to Sunnydale he told me all about what had been going on. Buffy was gone. I had to take over. It was so overwhelming. Here I thought I was going to rot in prison for the rest of my life and now I'm back patrolling around the Hellmouth. Too much for me.

I guess there's supposed to be these.. old vamps or whatever in Sunnydale. I don't really know what they're up to, but they're here. And they're bad. Hell, are vamps ever good? Well besides Angel. I bet it was one of these really old vamps that attacked me in prison. Seems kinda like a dumb plan if you ask me. The Slayer's locked up, so let's go kill her? So a new one can get chosen and come. Right. Makes all kind of sense.

So that was it. I found myself in one the oh so many cemetaries here in Sunny-d. I don't deserve to be here, but I'm needed. Things happen for a reason I guess. I just didn't understand. I don't think the Wes thought I should be out patrolling already. I bet he thinks I'm rusty. But rusty or not, I can handle myself, and I needed to be out here.

Damn it seemed quiet considering this big impending doom.
Have Faith

from corruptingride [Friday, April 1st, 2005 @ 6:52pm]
We signed the lease. We put the deposit down. It was set. We could even move in today if we wanted. And I certainly wanted to. It was perfect. Now if we just had the money for rent.. Oh well. All good things in time. Maybe Xander could get a job.. Or you know, we could steal some again. That never gets old. Xander seemed a bit skeptical but was smart enough to keep his mouth shut. At least for now. Good for him.

We had gone back to the hotel and checked out and brought our stuff back to the apartment. I loved this place even more every time I walked in. There was a sweet glass table in the dining room, a newly updated kitchen, it was completely furnished. Hell, we even had a washer and dryer IN the apartment.

It was going to take a lot to get it liveable still though. We needed things like.. oh food, dishes, stuff like that. But it was all ours.

I walked into the bedroom and began to put away the little bit of clothes that I had. The bed was huge. Could probably fit like four people in it. Then my mind flashed back to the night before and our little.. competition. Oh the neighbors would be sad that we were gone. A smirk came across my face.

I looked out the window and saw the gorgeous view of the lake. Not exactly the ocean, but it was pretty damn awesome. I stared out at the water and my mind completely forgot about anything else. I stood there a long time just staring, my thoughts completely on the water.

At least it wasn't the same water that I had dumped the body in.. I looked down. Same water or not, it still haunted me. Why had I picked a coastal apartment? Damnit, I love this place though. Nothing is going to make me give it up.

Finally walking away from the window I flopped down on the bed. Now where were we going to get the money for this place..
Have Faith

from _evil_within [Thursday, March 31st, 2005 @ 4:46pm]
We were here. The mansion. Angelus's mansion. I was about to go in, and face Buffy as a Vampire along with Angelus. I never went up against him, but I've heard horror stories. One of the worst vamps ever. And with B having Slayer training and strength suddenly getting vamped and having Vampire strength. There was no way this could go well.

I slipped out of the van and moved toward the entrance. If Oz actually thought that he could keep me from dusting Angelus if given half a chance... he was in for a rude awakening. He came back as Angelus, then was sent to Hell. When he came back, B hid him. She knew he was a threat. And now look what's happened.

I scoped out the area. Looking inside, I saw Xander chained up and B and Angelus near him. At least Xander was still alive. For now. Unless this was a trap and they had sired him to. Probably not. They probably didn't know we were even here yet. I looked over at Oz. I couldn't believe that he had tried to give me orders. Why does everyone try to order me around. First I get this new Watcher and now even Oz is trying to be the boss. What's up with that.

I looked at the others. "I'm going in. Give me a minute, and then come in and get Xander the hell out of there. He's chained up. You're gunna have to get him loose somehow."

With that, I went in, not waiting for a response. I was my turn to be the leader. If Buffy was gone, I had to take her place. I had to be the leader, know what to do. And what I had to do right now, was dust the son of a bitch who should have stayed in hell.

Bursting through the doors of the mansion, I looked at Angelus, my head cocked to the side and my hand close to my stake.

"Well well. What do we have here?"

I ran at Angelus. Showtime.
Have Faith

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